Do you have a second?

This past week I went to get my teeth cleaned. Routine appointment.

I love my dentist and his entire office.

I have the same dental assistant every time and that’s part of the reason I love his office.

It’s a little family.

She knows about my life, my work and checks in and vice versa.

So, as our appointment progressed and we chatted, I was a bit nervous when she went on to say, “I can’t believe I’m telling you this, because I haven’t even told anyone else here yet.”

She went on to share some personal information, which she was anxious about and I listened.

Later in the week, the same thing happened with a colleague.

They came into my office and asked if “I had a minute.” 9 times out of 10 I know that means someone wants to share something private and personal with me.

I was thinking about both of these separate conversations this week and how folks felt like they could trust me to share.

When I get asked the question of why I majored in counseling for my masters, I always say my friends always said I was a good listener.

That’s the truth.

I didn’t have some grand plan after undergrad.

I had thought I’d be a music teacher and then maybe get my masters to become a principal but once I got into the classroom, I realized what I really loved about teaching, was connecting with the students and hearing about their lives.

So, when I began thinking about my masters, I thought back to all the times I’d been told by friends, colleagues, and students, how much they appreciated that I listened.

I still take great pride in folks telling me I’m a god listener.

There are times that hearing the experiences, anxieties, stressors about others’ lives can impact my own thoughts and concerns but I do my best to separate.

I feel privileged to know that folks feel comfort in their relationship with me to share, especially if they don’t have anyone else to share with on a daily basis.

Going back to Elmo, Elmo did say we have to share our feelings, we shouldn’t keep it inside.

I figure, I’m glad they aren’t keeping it all inside and that I can be part of that journey of sharing. I also hope I’m helping them continue developing the skillset of talking about what’s going on in their lives with those they trust. I feel this way the most for my students.

This mindset is how I try to approach my day to day work. I’m not perfect at it. Some days I have more time, patience, and energy to be present and other days, I have to be empathetic to myself in how I show up.

But, mostly, I feel honored when folks say to me “do you have a second?”, “can I talk to you?” “I can’t believe I’m sharing this with you.”

It’s for this reason I always try to pause whatever I’m doing, if I can, to give even 5 minutes to someone who asks if they can chat with me.  

You don’t really know how much of a difference that may make in their lives.