Change is Good, But oh so Very Different

It has almost been four weeks since I started working at RU.

To say that my life has changed would be a gross understatement.

So let’s go with my life has changed…..drastically.

At my previous position I lived in the town I worked it. Meaning I had no separation from work and no commute. Some days it honestly felt like I left my house and stepped into work and vice versa. In many ways that felt like a curse. I always felt far too connected to work.

However, gone are the days of the 5 minute commute. Add 50 to that and you have my current commute time….on a good day. Mornings I do not mind so much. I cruise down the parkway and end up at work in plenty of time, minus the occasional traffic jam or accident in the early hours of the morning. But evenings, I wish that was the same case. Evenings are definitely different. I have learned how 10 minutes can make a world of difference. Although being stuck in traffic is not a good thing I recommend for anyone, I can say I appreciate the separation between work and home. I appreciate going home and having real distance between work and home. There’s just something to knowing you have really left work at work for the day. Physical location may not seem like a big deal but it really is some days. I use my time wisely in the car by staying connected to my students. They keep me company on my drive home and remind me constantly why I do the work I do.

I will say I do appreciate the fact that I no longer see my students everywhere I go. As much as I love my students, I’m happy to not have to see them everywhere I go. Judge me for that statement if you wish but when I’m grocery shopping on a Saturday morning I’m not really looking to see my current students. I used to run into students all the time at my previous location because I lived and worked in the same town. Now, not so much. There were days that I loved it and I won’t lie it depended on which student it was that saw me seeing as I was the conduct officer but most days I wanted to be a hermit, not spotted, by her environment. I may be an extrovert but even “I” needed that separation (pun intended.)

That being said that separation was not something I was used to at work. Being in an office with 4 other staff members always meant there was a lot of noise and chaos. There were times that I longed for quiet and no distractions to get my work done. Days where I wished I had my own space. But now that I have it there are days that I am longing for background noice. The grass is always greener right? That’s another thing I’m realizing. No matter how amazing the job is you always begin to compare apples and oranges. I am actively forcing myself not to do that but it’s hard. We all become so accustomed to what we know and our environments that we have to actively tell ourselves to remember the oh so many pros that outweigh the moments of nostalgic reflection. However if we think long and hard enough we will remember all the pros and cons about previous positions. So again the grass is always greener.

Case and point. Size. RU is huge! I mean I never really realized it but it’s huge. The campuses are all gorgeous and each one has its own beauty. I am sure I’ll be getting lost for years to come. So I won’t hesitate in saying that there are some days I really miss my ability to work down the hall and see whoever to have a quick conversation. Now I have to get into my car to talk to someone because they may be at another campus. I forget the beauty in that because yes there is a definite pro to that situation. 1. It gets me out of my office 2. It gets me to another campus 3. It helps me appreciate once again where I’ve come from. And so when I become bogged down with thinking about how it used to be I remind myself that it’s all a learning curve. I remind myself to give it time because although change is good and necessary it is not easy. Then I laugh to myself because that is exactly what I used to tell my students all the time when they transferred out and began missing everything that was Bergen. I reminded them how long it took for them to adjust to BCC and that at first BCC seemed like a foreign land. We so often forget how we felt when we first began a new journey because we only remember the end when we were well adjusted. But what we forget is that even in the end of the journey we had our share of struggles. We must always remind ourselves that each and every journey has its ups and downs and that’s ok.

At the end of the day the journey is what you make of it.