“It is what it is,” but should it be?

“It is what it is.”

I’m so tired of hearing that phrase.

When we really read it and break it down what does the phrase really even mean? Truly it sounds like a cop out. A response given when we have no better response to give. A response that allows us the space to continue doing whatever we are doing the same way we are accustomed to doing it. But I’m here to say that is not ok.

I don’t want to hear that phrase anymore and after the recent events of the past week I am taking that phrase out of my commonly used phrases. It is out of my vocabulary. If I allow myself to use that phrase I allow myself to become ok and comfortable, for a lack of a better word, for that which should be uncomfortable. For that which I should speak out against. I refuse to believe that “it is what it is”, is truly, “it is what it is.” Let me explain what I mean by that.

Any time that I previously used that phrase in my own life was because I had hit a wall. Whether I was fighting for something for myself, my family, my students or my friends I would utter that phrase and I would stop fighting because how can I fight when “it is what it is?” Obviously that meant I could not change it. I had done everything I could. If I used that phrase that meant the fight was over.

But is it? I now question if I allowed myself to believe the fight was over because I had become accustomed to believing that I could not change that which was in front of me. What if all the other great warriors of our history who fought for change felt that way? Where would we all be right now? Where would I be? Who would I be?

I know better than to think this way. I know better than to believe in the phrase “it is what it is.” What kind of role model am I to my students if I allow myself to think this way?

The events of this past week with regards to the political election and the commentary that has erupted based off the Republican nominee’s remarks from 2005 have caused me to recognize the way in which I have allowed myself to think. Add on to that my recent viewing of the documentary Audrie and Daisy. We can no longer allow ourselves the space to operate out of the “it is what it is” mentality.

I cannot allow myself to operate out of the “it is what it is mentality.”

No one wins within this mind frame. I cannot stop fighting. And if I allow myself to stop and believe for even one second that “it is what it is” then I will stop fighting and we all lose.

Change never came from the it is what is mentality. Change came by those that refused to believe that “it is what it is” should be an accepted answer. That is not answer. It is our way of allowing ourselves to stop fighting because that just seems easier. But nothing worth fighting for is easy.

I fully recognize that most of my thoughts and words within this post are cliché but at least I’ve gotten rid of one of the most clichéd ones out there.

Because this is the last time you’ll ‘hear’ me say “it is what it is.”

[The opinions in this post are mine alone.]